Tips for Parents
Role model appropriate behavior. If we believe that "boys will be boys" or "that's just the way girls are" when it comes to rough-housing, put-downs, malicious teasing, gossip, exclusion, etc., what we say and how we say and show it will reflect these beliefs. We need to become more aware of our own ability to change inappropriate attitudes and beliefs so that our words, tone of voice and actions better reflect the behavior and attitudes we want our children to model.
Take an authoritative approach to discipline that involves the children in the rule-making process. By involving our children in the development of rules and consequences, we are empowering them to use their words to solve problems and control their own behavior. When children break rules and subsequently learn to solve their problems and make restitution to the hurt party, they learn empathy, forgiveness and caring in the process. React to children's offenses with moral feeling & reasoning. Children are more likely to pay attention as to why they shouldn't do or say something inappropriate if you attach a moral feeling or reasoning with it. For example, saying "Don't push him. It's not okay," doesn't help the child to understand his/her behavior can hurt another child. Rather, saying something like "That really hurt John when you pushed him. How do you think you'd feel if someone pushed you?" would help to instill in your child a sense of empathy for others. Treat children with respect. Acknowledge to our children that we are all works in progress, trying to make sense of our world and our place in it. In so doing, we let our children know that everyone - including adults - make mistakes and no one is too old or too young to learn from them. Monitor and limit TV viewing and video games. More time spent watching TV shows or playing video games means less time interacting with others and developing social skills. Research findings show that excessive exposure to violence in movies, television and video games also desensitizes our children to the very real pain inflicted upon others and can impact their ability/desire to resolve conflicts in nonviolent ways. In addition, researchers recently reported that kids who are exposed to violent video games are more likely to view others' behaviors as hostile in neutral situations. Teach children common courtesy and social skills. The old adage "Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me" no longer holds true. Based on the latest research findings, words can hurt and their impact is just as devastating as physical aggression and can be longer lasting. - From Trudy Ludwig 2006; Source: FREE The Children! Conflict Education for Strong & Peaceful Minds by Susan Gingras Fitzell (New Society Publishers, 1997) |
Encouraging Positive Social Behavior In Your Child
How can you help guide your child toward healthier friendship groups that embrace good popularity? Below are some practical tips recommended by experts to point you in the right direction:
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