Know! The Facts: Understanding Teens Who Self-Harm
Why would anyone intentionally cause themselves physical pain? Self-harm is a hard concept for many of us to wrap our minds around. A new study, however, reveals self-harming behaviors to be more common in youth than most of us realize, and that the impact of such behaviors is likely to cause problems in both the short and long-term. What exactly is self-harm? It is any type of deliberate and direct injury to one’s own body. It may come in the form of cutting, scratching, burning, head-banging, pulling out hair, piercing skin with sharp objects or taking too many pills. Some youth may self-harm once or twice and then stop, while for others, it becomes routine behavior. In a Bristol University study in England, out of the nearly 5,000 16-year-olds who participated, 19 percent said they had harmed themselves at least once. The study also revealed that those self-harming teens were more likely to experience problems in school and in their relationships, difficulties in their workplace down the road, and were at increased risk for developing alcohol or other drug-related issues later in life. When it comes to “why” youth self-harm, there is no one single reason. However, medical experts say that it usually occurs among teens due to an inability to cope with emotional pain in healthy ways. Youth who self-harm tend to experience feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, panic, anger, rejection, self-hatred or confused sexuality. According to the Mayo Clinic, youth who self-harm may be attempting to:
While visible scars are the most obvious sign of self-harm, other red flags include your child wearing long sleeves or long pants, even when it’s hot outside; claiming to have frequent accidents or mishaps; spending a great deal of time alone; asking questions like ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What am I doing here?’; behavioral and emotional instability, impulsivity and unpredictability; and statements of hopelessness or worthlessness. Any act of self-harm needs to be taken seriously. Do not dismiss it as merely attention-seeking. Know that such actions may be warning signs for suicidal behavior or other problems. Despite how taboo the topic may seem, self-harm must be talked about and better understood in order for those experiencing it to get the help they need, and to prevent others from taking the same path. If you suspect or know your child is self-harming, seek outside help immediately. Start by consulting your pediatrician or family physician. Or check with your employer about a link to your insurance provider’s mental health services or, if your company provides one, contact your employee assistance program. Some youth who self-harm may not have suicidal intentions. However, if you feel your child is in immediate danger of attempting suicide, stay with him/her and call for emergency help. Another option is to call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-TALK to be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area. Source: Partnership for Drug Free Kids: Self-Harming Teens More Likely to Develop Substance Use Problems. Mayo Clinic: Self Injury/Cutting. Medical Daily: Self-Harm In Teenage Years Predicts Substance Abuse, Lower Grades, And Difficulties At Work. Psychology Today, Overcoming Self-Sabotage: How to understand and regulate destructive behaviors. |
The Adolescent Brain
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Great Resources for Middle School Students and Parents
Most Popular Educational Resources
- Dr. Math - Tutoring site that allows students to email questions and get responses
- Merriam Webster - The most comprehensive dictionary on the internet
- Test Taking Survival Tips - Good tips and tricks for acing exams
- Kid's Click - Search Engine for young students
- Yahoo Kids - Website dedicated to youth
- Encyclopedia for Kids - Free Encyclopedia for reference
- Word Whiz - Helps students build vocabulary and study skills
- Color Atlas - Unique maps for geography fans
Reading Lists for Students
- Pearson Youth Reading List - Pearson Recommended 6-8th summer reading
- Book Suggestions for the Entire Family - List for great books separated by category and age range
The Future - Getting an Early Start on Careers and College
- Explore Your Career Options - An interactive website from the Bureau of Labor and Statistics
- The Princeton Review - Great test preparation and practice resources.
- Find the Right College for you - Learn about which colleges are similar to your interests and your strengths
- Test Practice with Coach - Standards based test preparation for kids, parents and teachers
- Students.gov - student gateway to the US Governmen
Fun Educational Games
- Free Rice - Quiz game where correct answers help raise money for global hunger
- View the Earth from Space - View Earth from the Sun, the Moon or from any of a host of satellites in orbit.
- Cheap Carl's Car Insurance Presents: The Mad Math Grand Prix - Math based racing game that helps improve addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division skills.
- Be an A+ Math Ace - Math games based on bingo and hidden pictures, and a variety of flash cards.
- Fun Trivia Games - Fun interactive quizzes
Resources for Parents
- http://www.pta.org - Parent Teacher Association Webpage
- Great Schools.Org - A middle school parents' preparation for college guide
- Health Insurance Online - A database of health information for kids and adults
- Read, Write, Think - Resources to help parents with their child's literacy
- Middle School Web Resources - Valuable information for both parents and teachers
- US Dept. of Education - search for student aid resources by state
Students With Disabilities
- http://www.add.org/ - Attention Deficit Disorder Association
- http://www.ldresources.com/ - Learning Disability Resources
- http://www.ncld.org/ - National Center for Learning Disabilities
- http://www.fcsn.org/ - Federation for Children with Special Needs
For Minority, Low-Income, First Generation Students
- http://www.educacionsuperior.org/ - education information in Spanish
- http://www.uncf.org/ - United Negro College Fund
- http://www.aihec.org/ - American Indian Higher Education Consortium
- http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/oela/index.html?src=mr - Department of Education/Office of Bilingual Education and Minority Languages Affairs
9 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew
An article titled, “9 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew” provides some helpful ideas for parents:
1. Don’t be a stranger! Talk to your child’s teacher early and often. Teachers at Glen Este Middle School have email addresses to contact them at, but speaking with your child’s teacher about the best way to contact them is helpful.
2. Learning doesn’t stop at 2:15. Encouraging your child to show you something he or she is working on at school not only helps build your child’s self-esteem, but also helps the teacher as well. This doesn’t have to be a big deal, just a few minutes to check in and let your child show you something they did!
3. Stay involved- even when you don’t know the material. You can provide moral support and be your child’s cheerleader no matter how well (or poorly) you did in a certain subject. Just knowing a parent is paying attention can be very motivating for a student.
4. Keep your child organized. Some ideas are to have your child empty his or her backpack every day, in case important papers get lost to the bottom. Setting up a special place, such as a box in the kitchen where the important “stuff” can be placed is helpful. Also, a brightly colored folder to use for homework and signed papers is a good way to keep track!
5. Let your child make mistakes. Don’t forget that he or she is learning. Teachers don’t want perfect students; they want students who try hard. If your child is struggling with an assignment, try to help them brainstorm ideas. If they are still stuck encourage your child to speak with his or her teacher the following day.
6. Raise a good reader. Keep reading together. Reading aloud can help expand your child’s vocabulary, and talking about the book will help him or her understand and enjoy more.
7. If the teacher deserves a good grade, give him or her one.
8. The teacher’s on your side-give him or her the benefit of the doubt.
9. There is a secret to better grades. Meeting with your child’s teacher(s) early in the school year is a perfect time to bring up issues. Check in with Progress Book (an online program that allows you to check your student’s grades) on a daily basis. Find out what resources there are for you, and use them.
-From Good Housekeeping, Thursday, August 19, 2010.
1. Don’t be a stranger! Talk to your child’s teacher early and often. Teachers at Glen Este Middle School have email addresses to contact them at, but speaking with your child’s teacher about the best way to contact them is helpful.
2. Learning doesn’t stop at 2:15. Encouraging your child to show you something he or she is working on at school not only helps build your child’s self-esteem, but also helps the teacher as well. This doesn’t have to be a big deal, just a few minutes to check in and let your child show you something they did!
3. Stay involved- even when you don’t know the material. You can provide moral support and be your child’s cheerleader no matter how well (or poorly) you did in a certain subject. Just knowing a parent is paying attention can be very motivating for a student.
4. Keep your child organized. Some ideas are to have your child empty his or her backpack every day, in case important papers get lost to the bottom. Setting up a special place, such as a box in the kitchen where the important “stuff” can be placed is helpful. Also, a brightly colored folder to use for homework and signed papers is a good way to keep track!
5. Let your child make mistakes. Don’t forget that he or she is learning. Teachers don’t want perfect students; they want students who try hard. If your child is struggling with an assignment, try to help them brainstorm ideas. If they are still stuck encourage your child to speak with his or her teacher the following day.
6. Raise a good reader. Keep reading together. Reading aloud can help expand your child’s vocabulary, and talking about the book will help him or her understand and enjoy more.
7. If the teacher deserves a good grade, give him or her one.
8. The teacher’s on your side-give him or her the benefit of the doubt.
9. There is a secret to better grades. Meeting with your child’s teacher(s) early in the school year is a perfect time to bring up issues. Check in with Progress Book (an online program that allows you to check your student’s grades) on a daily basis. Find out what resources there are for you, and use them.
-From Good Housekeeping, Thursday, August 19, 2010.